So I got back my draft from the teacher today, and was glad to see that I managed to identify the problems with my essay well; I lack concrete examples and do not make a logical argument very often, which makes it hard to convince others that my point is valid. I decided that my audience for my paper was parents of children, but, as Ms. Scott pointed out in her comments, sometimes my tone seems too condescending. Also, I use too many semicolons; they make my sentences abrupt. Yes, I realize that I used a semicolon in my last sentence about using too many semicolons.
Anyways, I think that I received some good feedback on my essay, and at least know that I know the right direction to turn it in, and know how to improve it. This way I can have an essay that brings out my argument and my ideas in the best way possible to people who are not necessarily knowledgeable on the subject.
That's all I have for tonight, my brain unfortunately is still kind of out of whack from the engineering test, so I am ready to hit the rak and then sleep in till 0500 tomorrow.
Drag like White Lightning and keep your covers out of the microwave,
C/ STANTON
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